Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
