She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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