it wasn't lemon gatorade
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
