also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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