I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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