He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize