Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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