he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
