When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup