420 ftw
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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