did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Randomize
