she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize