u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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