I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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