i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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