wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
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When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
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I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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