Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
