shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize