I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
