Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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