You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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