i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
