ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize