I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
