she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
