Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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