i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize