ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
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he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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