The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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