when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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