You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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