god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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