Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
There's always time for handjobs
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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