I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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