He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
