My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
