watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
