It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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