I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
