watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
4 words: hood of his car
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize