Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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