so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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