you lied. pity sex is amazing.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
