I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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