Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
