Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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