Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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