I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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