if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
