Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize