I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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