the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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