Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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