So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
