Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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