Just mADE A PArabola og urine
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
